Before we start this one, keep this in mind:
some connections cannot be permanent but are still a benefit. While others should not even start at all.
If you don’t already know, there are tremendous benefits to having a life partner: physical health, mental health, building a family, growth as a person, etc.
However, some of the chaos that happens is because of mismatched expectations or sometimes unrealistic expectations. This post is about THAT.
The first introduction was mellow and honestly boring, but there was no doubt in their minds that they were attracted… but there were no outward signs of the sparks, no touch, not even any flirtation. They were both in other partnerships at that time, so there was no reason to consider what could be.
But when it got heated was about a year later… both single… she was moving… and it started like this.
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Not much. Might go out for a drink.”
“I wanna see you.”
He paused to be certain he heard correctly.
“I’d love to see you… but where?”
They both knew in this area people would talk, and there would be drama. Not that they gave a damn about what anyone thought or said; they just didn’t want to deal with their exes calling and texting. On his end, his ex might try to keep his kid from him. They had known each other long enough, had socialized at events, talked privately and both knew the level of headache that prevented them from being together.
But the fiery attraction between them was thick and sticky glued to their minds and now that she was leaving she wanted to dive in and let it be, even if it was just for one night.
She said, “Get some drinks and come over.”
As soon as she opened her door, he pulled her close and kissed her heavy like a soldier who’s been away from home for a year. There was no speaking. It wasn’t necessary.
They backed up into her sofa and collapsed on to it. The bottle slipped from his hands onto the carpet and the door was still open, but neither of them cared. She drug her fingers up his back and pulled him closer, wrapping her legs around his hips. He tugged at her bottom lip and pushed the top of her shirt aside to devour her.
At some point one of them managed to close the door so the neighbor’s couldn’t get a free show, but it’s amazing how powerful passion can be when it’s kept inside an air tight bottle for so long.
3 hours later, the alcohol was gone and so were they. They never made it out of the living room. The sofa, the floor, and the wall caught their force and now they lay across each other on the floor, no blanket necessary. Just cool sweat on skin and passion.
It wasn’t the last time they were together. A few times since then they met up for music, drinks, and conversation and sometimes physical play. The most electric time was when they never made it home and found a dark shadowy spot to hide from the world. A few people passed by but no one ever saw them. Yea that passion was intense
but honestly, it wasn’t just the physical that attracted them. If it was, that’s all they would have done. Half of their meet-ups including nothing physical beyond a hug. They simply enjoyed each other to the fullest, but there were social barriers because of who they had previously dated. No need for specifics beyond that.
She soothed him, made him laugh, showed him what it meant to be appreciated. He held her, made her feel safe, and above all, kept their situation a secret. If at any point she had thought otherwise, this could not have continued.
He knew if he had married her long before the barriers came up, he would have been happy. But life is what it is, and being honest about circumstances is important.
The point is: they understood that this bond could not be an official one. They could never get married, could never move about comfortably in certain spaces. But that was always okay with both of them.
Their connection was a benefit to them both even if they could never truly be a couple.
Some connections should not be forced. When we force a connection past what it’s meant to be, we inevitably bring about conflict.
HOWEVER, don’t use this just to get sex from someone. Or to sell yourself short, and accept a temporary connection where you want a permanent one. Go for what you want. Get your life partner when it’s present, but don’t be opposed to a positive temporary connection ONLY IF IT UPLIFTS YOU.
TEMP OR PERMANENT… NEVER GET INVOLVED IN ANY CONNECTION THAT DEPLETES OR LIMITS YOUR GROWTH.
Disclaimer: These stories are not all my own. Guest writers will submit their own dating stories at times. Nevertheless, most of these are my own experiences. I include the stories of others to add broader experience and also to hide my personal stories just a little bit.