To those who try to convince you that you need them…

I live in a world of confusion, since so many are unsure of so much. Confused about what they’ve done and why they did it. Confused about who to trust and who not to. Confused about why they are here. Confused about how to make the world better and not sure they should even try. Confused about… who they are.

But inside of this … noise, there is a warm center of certainty. And I will protect it with my everything. I will expand this space of warmth and comfort and… certainty. Here in this space there is “certainty.”

That word returns: “certainty.”

On various occasions I tried to force certainty into situations that included confused people. Those who were so unsure of where they were going, but tried to convince others and themselves that they had the whole world tied on to the end of their puppet strings. Except they were not only the puppet, but they were choking on the strings they thought they controlled.

These puppets told me I was the one who needed to be freed. Said I needed their presence in order to be whole, believing I was subservient to the false narrative they try to convince women of: the idea that a single woman is not whole.

*insert knowing smirk here*

You know a couple of times I tried to make myself believed I needed them, any one of them to be complete. I told myself that the world will take me more serious and I’ll be more free to move about this space of confusion if I give the confused individuals the image they want to see, if I give them the illusion of “Cinderella” graciously adoring her “Prince.” Then they won’t be so confused by me… and they’ll feel safe and I’ll be able to move more free.

See that’s the conundrum of a woman (or a man as well) who sees that living a life true to self doesn’t fit into “rules” or other’s expectations. In the world’s confused state, it wants you to be what they call “normal” but what really means “conformed.”

Only problem is there are billions of people in this world BILLIONS OF INDIVIDUALS and yes, love is a beautiful thing and marriage and family, but who says you gotta shape it the way they want you too?

What if you shaped your life and pursued your happiness in the way that thrilled you and created a foundation that you could grow exponentially from? What if you truly understood that no matter who comes or leaves from your life… YOU ARE ETERNALLY YOU. You will reach all heights you wish. No matter if they stay or not. No matter who understands and who does not.

Each step along the way, you’ll find people who understand. People who want you to thrive. People who respect your vision just as much as you respect theirs.

And all those confused people you dated… the ones you tried to convince yourself that you needed, were just lessons… lessons that delayed your progress, let’s be honest. So if I could tell someone who is one year or more younger than me anything about this it would be this:

Let those come and go as they wish. Be true to who you are. Analyze who you are and fully understand what you are good at, what you NEED to develop in yourself, and what you don’t want to develop.

Being an honest version of you. and then offering that and only that to every person who enters your life. And realize that those who stay… THOSE are the ones who will remain. Those are the ones WORTH GROWING WITH.

Don’t let someone make you feel like you “need” them in order to thrive. You came into this world with all you needed to survive. The people you connect with in this life can empower you or deplete you.

The ones who empower you will never tell you that you need them. You will simply recognize the love they have for you and you will keep them there.

Respond with love to those who love you. That’s the key to happiness and growth in this life.

In my humble but loving opinion

Peace Salam Om

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