Looking for Moma

Originally written Oct 25, 2011

(this is dedicated to the young man in the class i taught the Monday before Oct 25, 2011, whose mother died a little over a month before that day)

 

She had that same tone of voice that you always had for me

Soft like the way a wind moves leaves on the ground in fall time

i carried her sounds as i left that room

hoping the song of your voice would visit me

 

I tried to hold onto to that sound but there were all of my noisy friends

and they expect me to be the clown

always making them smile and sometimes..

yea i put others down

cause im hoping they won’t see through me…

the way you always could….

 

but you … you spoke to me with your sweet song

that soft sound I tried to hear you so I kicked the leaves to see if maybe

it was buried underneath…

only those leaves flew into some girls face

i swear moma i didn’t see her there… but it was too late

and all the teachers know me by my first and last name…

they don’t give me a chance to explain

that I was just looking for you…

 

another time, more anger, from a stranger who thinks she knows me moma!

but she dont know me like you!

calls me bad ass when she thought i couldnt hear

shooting arrows from her eyes…

you know my teacher told me

about Medusa freezing men with her gaze…

so i tell her she reminds of that lady with the snakes in her hair…

 

cause i just wanted her to stop looking into me..

i know she could see that I’m broken…

and that’s not her business …

she’s not my moma and all i wanted was to find you

just cause that lady that came to school today…

well she really did sound a lot like you…

 

and now I’m missing 3 days of school… im calling it another vacation

and im missing another test so i guess im failing again…

ah well…

that teacher told the other teacher that

i dont need no education

cause i’ll never be nothing no way…

 

hmmm… what should i do moma?

i need you to tell me…

im still listening…

they just so noisy im having trouble hearing

why did He take you like I’m not the same as all these others

why am i the only one …

who can’t find my mother?

 

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