In a previous post I said, if you want healthier relationships for you and others, you must
COMMIT TO BEING PRESENT AND TAKING IN THE NOW COMPLETELY WITHOUT DISTRACTION
But I didn’t go into detail about it because I felt it deserved it’s own post. This is a CENTRAL feature of any successful and mutually beneficial relationship.
NOTE: remember, this goes for ALL relationships, family, romantic, friendship, work, sports teams, community, etc.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE HABITS.
Like most anything, it’s not something you can just do right away if you’re not used to it, but the cool thing is, you can get used to it. 🙂
Be still (pause and consider)
Before anything else, you must practice “stillness.” This is something taught in yoga and meditation, the practice of simply being still and letting the pose or meditation have time to settle into your body and have the beneficial impact.
This is a habit you need for each part of your life.
When you wake up, when you first enter your workplace, when you encounter someone face-to-face… these are all times to pause a moment and consider the situation.
Ask yourself questions, like:
What do I want or need to do today? Get an image of your day every morning so your mind is prepared for it.
What is the person’s mood? What does the energy of my home and workplace feel like today? How do I feel today (ie. what’s my energy feeling like?)
These questions allow you to understand the energy of your environment and people so you can better decide how to interact with them and that environment.
Then you can …
Have focused conversations
With each person you speak to, give them your undivided attention. No cell phone, no laptop, no book, no nada nothing.
And take your time to SPEAK to people. Saying “Good morning” and asking SPECIFIC thoughtful questions. Stop the “How are you?” dry convos. Ask things like, “I saw you were frustrated yesterday, were you able to solve the problem?” or “I saw you were really enjoying dinner last night, what did you like about it?” or “You told me a while back that you like to play soccer, what do you like about it?”
These kinds of questions show 2 things:
You pay attention
and you care to listen.
That will empower any one connected to you and will improve all areas of your life as these relationships will be healthier and easier.
It’s just like any passage way through a forest,
the more often you travel down it, the clearer the path remains and the easier you can move through it and get great things accomplished.
Remember when you were a kid and you always felt a special connection to kids on the playground or anyone in your life who took the time to play or spend time with you?
That NEVER changes.
So use that knowledge and do small things with each person you want to or need to cooperate or interact with. Build with legos, paint a table, play horse with a basketball, wash dishes, any activity together.
Even at work you can do this. Eat lunch together, brainstorm for a project, play a game of checkers on a break, any shared chilled out activity works.
So maybe you don’t need to hug your coworker, but for everyone else, YES.
Pause in your day and hug the people in your home. Hug your friends and family when you see them.
and WARMLY hug. No pat-pat hugs. Hold on and truly EMBRACE each other.
This is another hold-over from childhood. Babies and kids are proven to be healthier if they receive consistent affection from others. It’s the same for you Love, and everyone you know.
Give warm and attentive hugs.
NOW PUT IT ALL TOGETHER, and what you have are the following benefits:
Healthier and more healing love connections
All around just a more loving and peaceful environment for you and everyone you connect with
PLUS, this way of life has a proven tendency to spread out in ripples as more and more people will follow your example.
BE A SUPERHERO and save the world by being PRESENT IN THE NOW