I remember an interview in which President Obama described the different ways he and Michelle would have operated in a room of working class white men in the Midwest. In the interview, he explained that he would move with greater comfort in that room than she would, NOT because of their gender or skin tones, but because of their PAST EXPERIENCES and how it shaped their view of the world.
That brief discussion stuck with me and is part of what inspired this post today.
Barack mentioned that he knew full and well that he was seen as an outsider by those men, just the same way Michelle would have been, but the difference in how they moved was about THE INSIDE. Their own decision TO SEE possibility before the obstacles. To see the CONNECTIONS, instead of the division.
And in seeing the world that way, Barack explained that when he approaches a situation, he moves with the understanding that he CAN achieve and get whatever he needs to or wants to, as long as he CHOOSES to.
So what does that mean for you?
Every person reading this has some kind of obstacle. When you interact with others, in some situations you will have fewer perceived obstacles than in others.
So you’re a woman? Don’t think you have enough education?
You have a “disability”? You think you’re not good enough?
You have dark skin? You have bad acne? You’re too short? too tall?
You have a past addiction?
You have a criminal record?
You’re a man applying for a job in a field mostly for women.
and on and on and on…
What if you are a dark skin, woman, with a disability who is also Muslim and applying for a job in a field mostly dominated by men?
When a lot of us go out into the world, we go with the DISTORTED LENS OF BULLSHIT, otherwise known as obstacles. and most of the time it’s ALL INTERNAL: It’s how we think about it that holds us back.
“I can’t get that job because it’s too hard.” or “I can’t get that promotion because they won’t think a black man can do it.” or “My disability makes people think I can’t work as fast or as good as others.” or “My past crimes are always gonna keep me from getting the good paying jobs.”
Here’s the thing about all of that. IT’S BULL SHIT. total complete bull shit.
Yes there are people who will judge you from their past belief systems. Someone taught them to see you based on the physical exterior. That is true BUT Love Bug, not every person you run into has that much of a distortion, and even the ones that do can easily be brought on to your side and see you for what you REALLY ARE: a capable and worthy person.
Did you get that: You are a capable and worthy person.
You are just as capable and worthy as any one else. THAT is how you MUST project yourself. That is how you must speak of yourself, describe yourself in resumes and interviews, you MUST BAPTIZE YOURSELF IN THE “YES I AM”
Then when you get a “No.” or a “We’ll give you a call.” don’t say “See I knew it!”
Everybody gets no’s and the promises to call back. YOU ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT as you think. But it seems that as soon as you don’t get what you want fast enough, you start coming up with the reasons. You start the “pity walk” down deeper and deeper into the land of “not gonna achieve shit cause YOU and only you are holding yourself back.”
Yes… there are racists. Yes, there are prejudiced backwards ass people. But the reason President Obama got to the presidency is because HE BELIEVED and WALKED in the KNOWLEDGE: that he was just as CAPABLE AND WORTHY.
Here’s the key:
You want something and you know who has what you want: a job, a promotion, a house, a date, a bigger office etc.
The key to getting something is to FIGURE OUT WHAT THE OTHER PERSON WANTS… and then GIVE IT TO THEM. That’s it. And do so with the seductive charm described here:
Here’s lesson 2 in “getting what you want” and f*** the so-called barriers (here’s a secret, they’re like Freddy Kruger, they only have power if you fear them)
Watch Chen Lizra’s video and read my post again, and get ready to apply ❤
After watching, get more advice on seductive powers in Part 2, by clicking HERE.