SHADE THROWERS and BOGUS ASS CHEERLEADERS: In this post I’m focusing on the “shade throwers.” I’ll get the “cheerleaders” in the next entry (Click HERE to read that article.)
I’ve been doubted time and time again. I’ve been under-estimated, under-valued, even disrespected in conversations held away from my ears.
over these years, one thing remained consistent AND GREW STRONGER: my understanding that no matter what any body else has to say or how any one else feels about it, nothing and no one can stop me but death… and even then, death many times only stops your vision if you shared it with no one else, because those who love you, will generally carry the work forward on your behalf.
Time for a flashback.
One person chuckled as he said, “So you think they got your back?”
I smirked and walked away.
In that situation the people he referenced were acquaintances whom I legitimately did not give a damn if they had my back or not. I never said they did. I never said I trusted them. He made the assumption and did nothing but throw his doubt at me like ice cold water… only I dodged it and kept stepping.
His mistake was doubting my DISCRETION and DISCERNMENT.
In that moment and many others, I was well aware of who and what people were, and what I recognize is that any person has varying degrees of loyalty and that’s OKAY with me. In accepting that, you learn that whether people are 100% on your team or not is irrelevant. They can still play the part you need them to.
In any given tool box, some of the tools will be in top shape, and others will be in need of repair themselves. Some will just refuse to work at top levels. But they’re still ABLE TO BE USEFUL, even if not 100%.
Would you rather throw the tool out and get 0% support? Or would you rather motivate that person to add 50% or even 20% of their effort?
ON THE OTHER HAND… another important factor of discernment, is recognizing who DEPLETES you or your vision. Remember the person from this flashback who questioned the loyalty of those working on the project with me?
Yes. Him. He was a “depleter.” He added no value to my situation. He offered no services, offered no alternatives, offered no resources, etc. Nada. But what he did bring was doubt and distraction, and in the end, it was he that was cut off, and the plan moved forward and was a success.
Later, he’d return but made no comment on the past. Instead he asked to “see” me again.
And please do not be mistaken, HE WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE to do this. There have been others in various forms. There are those who will cast doubt on you, criticize you, and offer no wisdom from experiecne, just simple speculation, misinformation or even sly insults.
BUT YOU DON’T WANT TO THROW OUT GOOD ADVICE… so please do not apply this to people who offer guidance or tell you they see a place you could improve. Those are the people you need to keep near.
As you meditate on this, you’ll learn to see the bogus ass cheerleaders and the shade throwers and separate them from support system that is a part of your growth process.
(Up Next: Bogus Ass Cheerleaders – Click HERE to get the info)