I Need Him But It’s Not What You Think

I need him like I need the Earth beneath my feet

like a sentence needs the verb for action to be complete

like water needs oxygen to form its life giving source…

I need him like candy needs sugar

and a soul… needs peace…

Salem is peace for me… and why?

because this isn’t a valentine or cupid connection I seek

like so many reading will be quick to believe…

It’s the giver of my gender decision…

half of my genetic code…

the one who holds my history inside his embrace…

To be held inside his eyes and understand… who I am…

Because it was not by his choice or mine that we were torn apart…

like sands blowing across a timeline of a human life…

I see him in every setting of the sun because

i know it is drawing a line from my home to his…

and when I pray at the evening hour…

i attach my message inside the golden ribbons of light…

and hope he receives it as I slip into the night…

and so the distance stands like an invisible bridge over deep waters…

and I fear I’m too weak to step forward with faith

that the surface will hold me across this space…

so tell me Baba… will you meet me halfway?

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