Goodnight Lullaby

(written Jan 30, 2014, in honor of 2 couples I know who lost babies before they were born)

(and now in 2017, I returned to read this piece because I’ve been touched much more closely than I ever expected to this piece)

i sang you like a lullaby, sweet soft and my notes rose to touch the star light

and the light of your halo was the warm blanket in the middle of this cold existence

cause today felt like bitter cold burning into my soul and all because

you.. are not here…

 

they say no one is promised tomorrow but you

didn’t even get more than one day

not even 24 hours of breath

but still you… made your mark

like fingerprints on glass…

just a hint of you to carry me over the hot fires of this hell

 

so i keep singing… “hush little baby don’t say a word”

cruel… these words reminding me that your lips,

will never say those three words

and your ears will never receive my message in return..

shhh… its really all gonna be ok…

but what’s ok without witnessing your playing

at my feet..

they say you can’t miss what you never had…

but they’re full of shit

 

so i sing “i miss the times that we never had

i miss the love that was almost there…

who ever said it’s impossible to miss what you never had

never almost had you…”

 

i sing you into existence cause they say sound never dies

and I want to hear you live on inside the winds

it gives me just enough reasons to push on… today…

or at least in this moment

 

til i hear something like an echo… but no…

this response isn’t a quote of what i sent out

sing:    … “hush little daddy/ mommy don’t say a word

i heard all your words from way up here

so don’t you worry cause Im ok

You’ve got your work and i’ve got mine,”

 

so hush my love, i’ll get through and find my way

cause ur light is all i need

to guide my feet toward tomorrow…

for now i’ll just

sing u into this lullaby… soft and sweet…

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