Venting

Written Jan 25, 2013 – This is just want I was feeling that day

 

so he said…

its time to sink between the lines like you were ink…

if u ever hope to get a moment of sleep since this poem keeps calling out to me..

.fighting the words is pointless

since 1993 I’ve been their passageway…

like a waterfall….

it’s a 0 to 1,200,341 record cause

they always winning…

memories and questions and thoughts playing twister

inside my mind in silent moments

when the air is still

its left foot on yellow and right hand on read

strained

its this memory of positive attracting negative ,,,

trying to pull that energy into its opposite nature…

only two opposites equals nothing but neutral…

lost cause…

its the exhaustion crashing down…

avalanche style

from trying to be who this one and that one needs me to be …

only me… is getting lost beneath the aftermath of this earthquake…

I’m checking my schedule and my assistant says

this service is no longer available

I’m spinning … like planets…

No. … more like a spinning top

it’s child’s play

cause someone set me in motion and passed me on to the next one

who tossed me out into another pattern that was not my choosing…

and defying their demands is like setting fire to whatever sanity they hold on to…

so I lock down inside the sanctuary of my mind

and I find myself holding back these simple phrases…

like im on trial… my lawyer’s demanding my silence cause

I’ll be locked down inside their reactions if I speak it…

only irony is …

im already a prisoner inside these words never spoken…

see i’m there token, the center of some others fixation

… cause im still exactly who you need me to be

but barely resembling the me I keep under lock and key…

and in those moments when im free…

there is no greater peace

,.. to love me is to free me to be me without limits…

like the wind moving the atmosphere…

I am nothing trapped inside a snare …

it was never accidental that somebody one day looked at me

and reminded me

“I am air.”

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