“The Pretenders” in this story are people who try to create the ILLUSION of being “romantically linked” with you when you both know it’s not true.
#1 Why does this person do it?
They realize you either don’t want them OR that you’re hard to get, and they don’t want someone else getting you. They REALLY AMP up their efforts IF competition shows interest in you in their presence.
#2 How do they do it?
They’ve got a few strategies that I’ve witnessed:
1. Speaking to you in an overly comfortable way within the ear shot of their “target.”
2. Physical contact to give the illusion of “closeness” (arm on shoulder, or an extended hug (not during a greeting, but as if they are “showing their lover some attention)
3. Some even get bold enough as to say things when you’re not around that can be heard by their “target” that suggest something is going on.
HOW DO I KNOW THIS?
I’ve been a victim of this on multiple occasions. Fortunately, I usually find out about the guilty party soon after it’s taken place.
HERE’S A STORY:
A man, who was told that I wasn’t interested, made a point to start by saying statements such as “You know how I am huh bae?” and “He just don’t know me like you.” and other such comments in front of me and the guy who was interested in me.
These types of statements sound like there’s either history or something current between you two.
When he said this I gave him the dry look of surprise like … “uhhh what?”
but I didn’t suspect anything at the time, so I didn’t say anything, AND THAT’S WHY THIS TACTIC WORKS.
Since we’re not aware of the plan, we just think it sounds a little strange for the social situation & keep it moving. It’s hard to realize their goal without more evidence.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
The physical touch and closeness that made no damn sense. He stood close and put his hand on the table behind me as he spoke. He’d lean in toward me speak to my ear, instead of addressing the group, and THEN had nerve to hug me a little by placing his arm across my shoulders, gave me a squeeze, and made a point to say to me (but where the other guy could hear) “I’ll be right back”
That’s the point I got suspicious. I looked at him like he was a bit crazy, but again, didn’t figure out the ultimate MOTIVE.
LUCKILY, someone asked if we were together, and I was able to say “No, not even a date, but I know him from around here.”
HOW DO YOU PROTECT YOURSELVES?
Ladies & gentlemen, I really don’t know. All I can suggest is to be aware of the signs that I mentioned in this story. AND if you’re interested in someone, the BEST WAY to prevent being the victim of a “PRETENDER” is to go up to the person you like, and tell em that you wanna get a drink or coffee or dinner with them.
That way Mr or Ms Pretender can’t get away with faking the funk.
and maybe you and the one you’re really into , can get a little loving in like THIS 🙂