While there are more than these 5, such as laughter, playfulness, relief, etc, these 5 are apparent and basically universal when you look at men in cultures all over the world.
So here are the 5 most common things a man gives to his family…
1. Security – Being strong of body, and alert of mind, the masculine gender is well-equipped to keep away danger, and to defend against danger should it be foolish enough to come at those under his care.
2. Comfort – In times of stress, the presence of a strong, peaceful man can give a comforting center that the family can rely on. Since men have a tendency to more often see the glass as “half full,” and because they typically keep a cool mind in the midst of chaos, that center of stability is comforting.
At times, when a woman is feeling pulled in 1000 directions or emotions, his peace can be misunderstood as “uncaring” or “less effected.” THIS IS A SAD MISCONCEPTION, LADIES. He is NOT less effected; he simply reacts in a different manner. There’s a need for both types of reactions in any situation, yours and his.
3. Strength – Due to his strength, the man is able to provide “security” and “comfort.” This strength is both physical and emotional. He is meant to be a steady center that the family can rely on to stay balance and strong.
4. Discipline – This applies mostly to the children, as his voice is most times enough to pause any obstinate behavior from your little ones. Momas are naturally nurturers, while the father’s strength grabs the attention of the children. When their fathers are allowed in their lives, his EXPECTATIONS and his support of the mother’s expectations prevent misbehavior (not all of it, but some of it.)
Mothers, whether or not you are with the father is irrelevant. Make a way for the father to participate. No matter what has occurred in the past, CALL THEIR FATHER NOW and offer him more time to spend with and raise his kids. DO NOT SAY HE WASN’T THERE. You only need to say, “The kids really need your time. I want you to have that time with them. They need you. What can we work out?”
Some of you will find he wants more time than you’re willing to give, some of you will find he agrees with you on the amount of time, and some of you will have a father who just doesn’t want. THE REALITY IS more of you will have improved results than not, SO SAY SOMETHING and get this started. THIS WILL RELIEVE a lot of your stress, and it gives the kids additional stability and strength as they grow.
5. Helpful – When you’re living with him, there is so much that he can attend to: car, house, yard maintenance. Men, especially southern men, are also great cooks, so they can split meal prep with you. In a lot of instances, the fathers are willing helpers, they just don’t know what you want them to do. So approach them with some of that sweet femininity and say “Baby I really need some help. Can you pick the kids up after school?” OR “Could you start getting the kids to take their baths and settled down while I clean up after dinner?” When a man FEELS NEEDED, he gets excited and content. MEN WANT TO BE NEEDED. Don’t fight that and don’t throw it in his face. Just make him feel needed, and you get the benefits of knowing you’re not in this alone.
IF YOU DON’T LIVE WITH THE FATHER of your kids, then go back to #4, because that’s the best way you can get some relief from all you do, while giving him the happiness that your kids can bring, and giving your kids the benefits of 2 guardians as nature intended.