This is not a bashing piece

This is not a bashing piece

Bashing means a lashing unwarranted and with no gloves on
I assure you this is not a lashing
and most certainly is justified
while it may sound like I’m throwing jabs
It’s well .. no excuses
he gave more excuses than reasons to believe
that’s the answer every time they ask why we
never came back to be

he gave me more excuses than reasons to believe
I grew up old school back roads tradition
where momas and daddies don’t say maybe
it’s either yes or its no
and no never was the answer when the babies needed love
and attention
I say give US dedication and evidence that you put the we
before the self
but when he spent more time inside an office that didn’t pay
than he did inside the heaven in our daughter’s eyes
and it was me who caught her tears like butterflies
seeking warmth in his sunlight running headfirst into
stained glass windows
I see daddies daring miles in the rain
just to see a smile
not tiptoeing across a street to make appearances
like musicians in town for the weekend
just cause he was getting hair trimmed with the boys
she was more of a some time thing
and I was supposed to treat this as King behavior?
This was never the whole of it, cause there were much more
examples than this
but the point is
when asked for his presence
he gave more excuses than reasons to believe
Funny how when I chose to leave it was all on me
but 5 years of ease never led to any additional access
to your hugs and kisses
so yea I’m dismissing his cries for pity
because we relocated to a new city
This is not a bashing piece
just a releasing piece
cause I’m pretty damn hard on me
much harder than I probably need to be
So I keep on building a life for her and showing her
the beauties of this world
growing a strength in foundation
but ensuring the gentle angel that she is remains loving
and open… just wiser
this isn’t a lashing
cause he can only do what he’s capable
and when I loved wholly, he wholly doubted
and when I supported, he diverted our path
into some other pattern
and as way led on to way
the only heart that mattered
is the one I refuse to let be shattered
even if he chooses to remain distant
from reality
so no i will not ask unless she does

cause in any other sense, asking would be pointless

cause he always gave more excuses
then reasons to believe

______________________________

This is the word of a rebel …

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