Where is Home?

Where is Home?

I’ve often commented how the town I grew up in had never felt truly like home to me. Don’t misunderstand, I feel a connection there, and I feel grateful for the foundation given to me, but in the essence of what others explain “home” to be, it never felt that for me. That is why it was a consistent question on my mind, that I toyed with: Was I missing out on having a “home” connection?

The reasons for the disconnect: As an adult I recognize that it stemmed from the disconnect with my mother. As she pulled inward and away from active involvement in my life. My father was a distant figment, a shadow outline of something that until I was 23, was not colored in with anything of substance. My dad whom my mother married and who was a beautiful loving father figure, yet with the ever present disconnect of my mother, his love couldn’t ground me in that land.

As she pulled inward and away from active involvement in my life I felt less nurtured and distant in relation to my “home” town. Of course at 18, I moved to Lafayette and across the following 14 year, I became “me,” the real solid me.

The transition and building of “me” over those years was a beautiful odyssey, honestly, full of its challenges and beautiful connects just like those that Odysseus faced in the classic epic poem. But this Odyssey (internal and external) took place within Lafayette, primarily, with some trips to other places while living there. But mostly within the Lafayette community and all the people I CONNECTED with, and the experiences born from these connections.

It wasn’t until I moved to New Orleans in June 2013 and then returned to visit in November 2013 for Thanksgiving that I realized,
Lafayette had become that hometown for me. It was now the roots I had always wanted as a child. This interesting little safe haven of culture and close knit community had raised me from the girl I was to the woman I am. All the skills and support I would need to enter the marathon portion of my life’s mission were shaped during my years in Lafayette.

While I adore my blood family, and I know they will always be present and proud of all that I have, am and will accomplish, it has been my Lafayette family who nursed my wounds, wiped my tears, cheered my achievements, and encouraged me to continue onward.

My blood family gave me my foundation of respect, compassion, and work ethic, among other things. My Lafayette family gave me direction, criticism when needed, collaboration, some challenged my resolve, and some connected with me as brothers, sisters, and aunts and uncles.

It was and continues to be an unfortunate circumstance that the conflicts within my mother’s spirit have created a distance between me and my literal hometown.
But I thank God that I have found “home” for me.

(section deleted because something I’m working on cannot be revealed right now, but this section will be added later once the project is complete)

I am thankful beyond measure for the challenges I’ve faced, and I finally understand why people say they wouldn’t change anything in their past because this amazing present and even more broadly influential future shich is so near would not have happened without all that has shaped me.

I thank God for every lesson. I now see the reason. The impact on the world that God assigned to me required that “boot camp” and training and beautiful “work” experience and I am so ready for the next portion of this mission.

❤ ❤ ❤ , Air

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s