Guys are at times similar to women in what they value, but there are some important differences that women need to be aware of.
The top 3 items that men value are:
The woman who offers these 3 things is the master of love and will not have to wonder about her man being unfaithful or losing the “love.” Let’s face it that’s a huge fear for women. “Will he ever cheat on me?” “Will he always love me?” Ladies the answer is simple. Men have a special place in their heart reserved for connection to a woman who provides their most basic needs: sex, trust and peace. The woman who enters his heart and keeps providing these things becomes far too valuable in a man’s world for him to ever mess over her. (The only exceptions are the dogs who simply have no respect for women, and you don’t want one of those anyway.)
How do you secure each of these for him?
1. SEX – Be receptive and be the initiator. When he comes to you for sex, be willing and have fun with it. One of the biggest complaints of a man is that his woman either has an excuse OR she’s not really into it. Ladies, it’s an orgasm you’re after, right? TEACH HIM and enjoy the rewards. Sex is supposed to be FUN!
Be the initiator. Since the man is accustomed to requesting sex, the surprise switch is nothing less than exciting for your man. Sneak up on him in the shower. Wake him up with some … ummm… activities. If he’s somewhere in the house not busy, grab him and walk him to a secluded part of the house, and just do it!
That’s how you give him the sex he wants, and men have this competitive side. They will go out of their way to please you sexually, and with gifts and romantic thoughts, because they hate being outdone, on anything. That’s a part of their personality that will work in your favor.
2. TRUST – Remember the Alicia Keys song: Diary? That’s what he needs you to be. A diary that is under lock and key. If he is sharing information with you, HONOR it. He needs to know that he can come to you with ANYTHING and never has to worry that you will tell anyone else. Did he share something he did in his past? Doesn’t matter who was there with him or not, you are to tell NO ONE that he told you.
Did he confide a problem that one of his friends is having? DO NOT tell anyone, and definitely don’t tell the friend that you know what he is going through. Why? Because your man came to you because he needed your emotional support. The fellas can’t tell certain things to their boys. They can’t show their “feelings” or worries with their boys, so if he came to you with it, that’s AN HONOR. Respect it. Appreciate it. AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Because once you break that “diary” trust, you’ve damaged a huge part of what you two have.
Can it be recovered? Yes, but you have to make amends. Don’t be so guarded that you can’t say you’re sorry. Apologize, and show him that you appreciate the gift of his confidence in you.
3. PEACE – He wants to watch sports without interruption, just like you want peace when you’re reading a good book. He wants to come home and feel it is haven. You DO NOT want your man to feel like he has to hide in his “man cave,” or “go the gym” just to have peace. If he has to do that, then something in the environment has him uncomfortable.
Create a peaceful environment. Do not nag him. You don’t like when the kids nag you and complain, then don’t do that to your man.
Once again, men are competitive, so if you go out of your way to give him a peaceful home, he’ll give even more back to you.
A man who has SEX, TRUST, AND PEACE at home is not going to risk losing that over some side booty, and his heart will always and forever be yours.
Love wisely ladies (and never be too good to apologize to your man. He won’t judge you for it. He’ll LOVE you for it)